I hate you I love you
by RoseQuarz
Summary: "No, that wasn't it. Basta hated him. He hated the Mudfinger. He had allways hated him. Because he liked him. He liked him a lot." There's a summary inside. Pre-Inkheart. Dustfinger/Basta Slash . Rated M just to be sure :D
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note **

Authors note: it's my second fanfic, so a few reviews would be nice ^.^ I'll try to update soon anyway :D

Ah and btw , of course, Inkheart does not belong to me for we all know it belongs to Cornelia Funke ;) if it did , well , there would be a lot of crack pairings in it ;P

**Summary** : Dustfinger was captured by the Atterhead, but he escaped during a festival, where he should actually be executed. Now he is followed by the Atteredheads men and a few of Capricorns men ,too. He hides in an old hut and of course there's no one lower than Basta to enter the hut and kill Dustfinger. But our match-eater will be surprised how things turn out in the end, oh and Basta, too. DustfingerxBasta . Slash- if you don't like pls don't read it.

Chapter Uno :

The wayless wood was unusual silent that day.

The single thing that could be heard were a few birds chirping against the silence, that were suddenly disturbed by cracking wood and loud cursing. A man was fighting himself through the thick undergrowth, his orange hair was covered with dirt and so were his clothes. He broke through a few branches and suddenly found himself on a large glade, gasping and spitting on the ground he looked around.

Dustfinger was exhausted from the escape and the running trough the wood had caused him a lot of scratches and black and blue marks. The red haired scanned his surrounding, paranoid and scared to spot an enemy somewhere, but in contrast to his hasty escape from the Adderheads castle it was now awfully quiet –too quiet.

The whole world seemed to stand still for a moment and the single thing Dustfinger could hear was his breath going fast and irregular. Then suddenly he heard branches crack and the second he realized his chasers had finally caught up with him he felt himself wrapped from behind and pulled to the ground. He tried to kick his pursuer with his leg, hit him and was free again. He heard the man behind him groan, but didn't recognize his voice. So it could not only be Capricorns men following him through the wood. The Atterhead himself must have sent his men behind the poor gleeman.

Dustfinger wasn't sure whether he'd survive it this time. He had cheated death so often already and felt like he had pulled things too fat this time. However if he'd stayed in the Attedheads prison he would've been dead by now.

An old hut came in sight. Perfect. Maybe death was a little away still. Dustfinger ripped the door open and found himself in a small dark room, one bed in the corner, dust everywhere and a few bags with something in it that looked like corn.

Although he was completely out of breath he tried to breath as slowly as possible and to not make a single noise.

Maybe they'd just run past the hut. Maybe they would think he was too fast for them, long past the hut and out of their sight. They might even stop following him at all. Maybe.

He heard the men from the outside running towards the hut. Please, please, please don't go inside. He hid behind an old bag of grain dust tickling his nose. I mustn't sneeze now, I mustn't, I mustn't. He grabbed his nose with his hand, it hurt a lot and the tickling stopped immediately.

The men were still outside. He heard them calling. "He could have either ran this way or that one. Cockerell, you're going this way! Take a few men with you! I'm going the other one with the rest of the people."

"But wait! Couldn't it be possible that he has ran into the hut. It would perfectly fit with his coward character."

Dustfinger pressed himself against the wall. His worst nightmares had come true. They're going to kill me, he thought. And the worst thing was, Dustfinger even recognized this voice. Oh yes, he had recognized it immediately. This was Bastas voice.

"I see your point, but even though there's still a chance he ran down the hill there and if we don't follow him now he'll be gone. Basta, if our Mudfinger really is inside that hut and you were right, you can kill him yourself...-"- at this point Dustfinger could almost see Bastas smirk through the grey wall. Like a little child before opening its Christmas presents and knowing that it's going to like what's inside. Dustfingers stomach pulled together with fear...-" The man who had spoken (it must have been the Firefox) went on. "I suppose you can deal with him yourself, if he's not in there follow Cockerell immediately, understood?" Bastas answer, an angry grunting, could be understood as a yes and with that he entered the hut.


	2. Chapter 2

Inkheart still doesn't belong to me…*sniff*

Chapter Deux : (alias another piece of crap developed from boredom… a lot of it :D )

Dustfinger tried to keep his breath as low as possible as the door swung open and light flooded into the darkness of the hut. Maybe, he thought, maybe he won't recognize me if keep a low profile. Maybe he won't kill me. Maybe…

Dustfinger closed his eyes. He didn't want to see the smile on Bastas face, when he was going to grab him, when he was going to kill him. But as Dustfinger sat there and waited for a hand to grab in his hair, to pull him up, to smash him against the wall…it didn't come.

He could hear Basta breathing, he was still standing in the hut, looking around for Dustfinger, who tried to not move a single muscle. Out of nowhere the red haired suddenly felt an urgent titillation in his nose. It must be the dust around here, he thought. Basta was already on his way out of the hut. Ready to follow Cockerell down the hill. Oh please, please don't let me need to….aaatshoooo… oh no. That's my death sentence. Defintetely.

Dustfinger perorated with his life just to be sure… he had his eyes closed again, pressing his body against the cold wall.

There they were. Bastas footsteps. Away from the door he had opened, back inside the hut again. Tap. Tap. Tap. Nearer and nearer. Dustfingers stomach pulled together in fear, when he heard Bastas voice above his head. "I should have known you were behind that bag, Mudfinger. "

A hand grabbed his hair, pulling him roughly up until Dustfinger was on one level with the man he feared even more than the Atterhead's subjects. More than anyone else in the world. Apart from death maybe, which was certainly connected to Basta …and his knife of course.

" I knew you would flee and hide rather than fight. " Bastas went on with his monologue. " It's just you pathetic nature." Dustfinger scraped together his last bit of courage and stuttered "Well better a pathetic coward than a rude loser, right?"

Bastas fist hit him so hard that his head was smashed into the wall. There were bright colors exploding before his eyes followed by an intense pain. He began to black out, but felt Bastas hand grabbing his collar pulling the bigger man against the wall. His peppermint breath was all Dustfinger could smell at that moment. Actually he liked the smell a lot. What a thought in a situation like this, Dustfinger thought and suddenly had to smile, which enraged Basta even more. Of course, anything Dustfinger did, enraged Basta. There was no way to bring him down.

**Bastas POV:**

Hell, he didn't want to hurt him. But there was nothing to do against that certain hatred that came along with a feeling of …. yeah a feeling of what. What was the feeling inside his stomach every time he saw the other man? Must be some kind of pleasant anticipation to kill him, he thought, tossing the thoughts apart before they could beset his mind again. Just like the long nights he had been up, sitting on his bed thinking about the man he was going to kill sooner or later.

Capricorn had always given him the feeling that killing, robbing and burning were OK. That there was nothing he could do better than that, that Basta was chosen to fulfill his duty at Capricorns side. That it was RIGHT to delete people's lives.

Dustfinger had turned these thoughts around. Everything he did and said made Basta angry for it reminded him of the fact that killing was a terrible thing, that only ruthless bastards would do. He hadn't seen himself that way before and it made him angry that, on top of all people in the world, Dustfinger had been the one to let him recognize this. It had made him think about the other man either. His kindness and his cowardness. Basta would never have told him, but he took it as a price for the kindness.

You couldn't be both: Nice and brave. And if you had one thing, you'd have to give up the other. There were no heroes in this world. And Basta allways had been a little jealous on Dustfinger for taking the good-guy part.

Would Basta miss something if Dustfinger wasn't there anymore? Would he?

**Dustfingers POV:**

Dustfinger let out an anxious sound, trying to get away from the knife, which Basta pulled out of his pocket and let it run over Dustfingers face slowly. He must be liking it, Dustfinger thought. He likes torturing people. That's Basta.

On the other hand Dustfinger had allways seen a bit of himself in Basta. Basta appeared to be a dangerous, hot headed, cold hearted man, who couldn't control himself. But sometimes there were moments when Dustfinger saw a frightened little boy in him, who tried to act like a grown adult. A hot headed, small child, who was (by the help of a few real terrible men) transformed into a fierce dog. But Basta couldn't hide all of it. Sometimes there were small peaces of himself coming out, himself not the dog he had been turned into. But the little child who needed a father and found it in Capricorn.

I could have been that child, Dustfinger thought. If I had been caught by the fire raisers, I could have been it. And, although Basta was still standing there, with his knife pressed against Dustfingers throat, he suddenly felt a bit pity for him.

**Both POVs:**

The Mudfingers expression suddenly changed. From nothing but fear into…what...pity?

"Why are you staring at me like this?" Bastas aggressive voice came into Dustfingers ears. He didn't recognize he had been starring, but anyway why should Basta care? Dustfinger was the one person in the world Basta hated most. He's going to kill me soon anyway. How mean Basta was, he suddenly thought. It wasn't enough for him to kill Dustfinger, he had to let him tremble in fear first and then cut his throat. Dustfinger didn't want Basta to see how scared he was. His face had to be full of sweat. His mouth was dry. His knees shook a bit. There was only the angry look in Bastas eyes, his face only inches away from Dustfingers.

Shit could he please fuckin stop looking at me like this? How am I supposed to kill someone with a puppy look in his eyes. This look made him feel…weird. And he hated to admit that he liked it….kind of… But soon after the weird feeling in his stomach began to rise, Basta also felt the hatred coming with it. The feeling made him feel weak. Capricorn didn't need weak men, Basta needed to be strong. But still his hand with the knife wouldn't move even if Basta had wanted it to.

Suddenly everything came together at once, Bastas body against his, his peppermint breath, the angry look suddenly vanishing from Bastas eyes and leaving nothing but emptiness. Later Dustfinger would ask himself why he had done it. He had never found an answer to that question. It was not like he had decided to do it. It kind of js happened, like everything that followed it.

Dustfinger grabbed Bastas face with both his hands, ignoring the pain as the knife made a little scratch into his neck. He kissed Basta. In contrast to his temper Bastas lips were incredibly soft. Dustfinger felt hands grab into his hair, he heard the knife shatter to the ground, because its owner seemed to have found something more interesting. He felt Bastas hands wandering down his neck, grabbing into his hair. His tongue entering Dustfingers mouth begging for more and getting it. Waves of shiver ran through the gleemans body. He had never felt something so good and wanted more and more of it. He was hot and cold, his hands wanting to explore even more of the other man's body. He wanted him. He wanted his breath near his ear and as crazy as the whole situation seemed …so weird and unreal. Dustfinger had never been into boys. He had never kissed one and he never wanted to. It was something completely different from women. Something he needed to explore first. But he wanted to, that was for sure.

They broke apart after what seemed an eternity to Dustfinger. He had never been sentimental in any way, but it was just like in those old love songs the bards used to sing. The only person he had had this feeling with was Roxanne. Roxanne. She knows I have been arrested by the Atterhead. She must think I'm dead, he thought. What am I DOING here? I. have. Just. Kissed. My. Worst. Enemy. He guy who cut these scars into my face. His right hand wandered up to his face to touch the scars. What have I got myself into, he thought. But the worst thing of all was that Dustfinger had enjoyed it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Troi:

AN: Thank you so much for the nice reviews ^^ they encouraged me to go on :D

Basta was more confused than he had ever been in his life. It wasn't that fancying boys was new to him. He had never been interested in girls and he had never understood why the other men were so keen on touching them. He had tried it once and it had been one of the most uninteresting things he had ever done. In fact, he looked at women as a waste of space and that was the way he treated them. End of the story. But fancying Dustfinger? Of all men in this world? Him? The Lightning-eater? Of course, Dustfinger had kissed him. But Basta had kissed back. The angriness that usually overcame him when he saw Dustfingers face, was gone. Blown away like a silly little weak leaf. Dustfinger had made him recognize his weakness once more and Basta knew he should be thankful for it.

Just when Dustfinger let one of his gentle hands run down Bastas neck, which made the man gasp immediately, a picture flashed through Bastas mind. It was no other than Capricorn. What would he say? What would he do? Basta didn't want to make him angry and oh, hell he would be if he knew what the two men were doing. And in a split second he, once again, decided to follow his masters will.

Dustfinger traveled down Bastas neck with his hand. When he thought about it, he had always wanted to know what that skin felt like. Surprisingly soft and warm. Just then Bastas gaze froze. He looked at him his eyes shimmering with…regret? Dustfinger stopped and carefully pulled back. At the back of his mind he knew that Basta hadn't changed at all. How could he have thought that he could ever bring back the person that he had been as a child. He knew that the easily enraged part of Basta wasn't vanished just because he had let him kiss him.

And this part appeared to come back to life just at this moment. Bastas face deformed with hatred. The fear began to rise in Dustfinger once again. Climbing up his throat and making it feel tight. Suddenly it was very hard for him to swallow. It was like the kiss, the brief moment of honesty, had gone, had never happened or had just been suppressed. Maybe now Basta would finish for what he entered the hut. One small second the two men just stood there staring at each other trying to read in each others expressions. Then Basta was gone. Only a little wind (because he had stormed out of the hut as if he had seen the devil himself) and the faint smell of peppermint in the air was left of him.

After Basta had stormed out of the hut, Dustfinger just stood there leaning against the cold wall trying to calm down. After a few minutes he decided to run back to the gleeman's camp as fast as he could. If the men had given up on chasing him he might be able to arrive there. He hadn't been there for weeks. First of all, the harmless seeming invitation to the Atterheads' party, which had in fact been more like a threat. Then the days in the dungeons, dark and empty. And finally his escape and the hut. And Basta.

The Gleemen travelled through Ombra and the near cities to collect money whenever they could. To fascinate and bewitch the people with their magic tricks and other arts. But much in contrast to the good mood in which they had to be in front of the audience, most of them were rather stinky, ugly guys with bad manners , bad health and bad hygiene. The gleemans' camp itself also was set up outside of Ombra for it might disturb the people who lived there. The tents were muddy, the smell was awful, the humans, which past Dustfintgers way were not always to be trusted, but there were always people that you could depend on and although it was rather smelly , this was Dustfingers home. He didn't expect more or less of it. He just loved it the way it was.

Due to his various fire shows, and his friendship with the black prince Dustfinger was rather famous, not to forget the three scars across his face. He was used to being recognized immediately once he was inside the camp. This time it didn't take three minutes until a young boy saw him and screamed

: " The fire eater is back!" Everyone stared at him. "Look, Dustfingers back!" "He's here!","He isn't dead".

He felt weak and the days in the Atterheads' castle hadn't done him any good, so his physical condition was not what it once used to be. Also he realized that his last meal had been a little bit of odd tasting bread two days ago. He trailed into the direction in which he assumed the Black Princes tent to be, just when he felt hugged by two slims arms which wrapped around his stomach and shoulders. "Roxanne", her smile would never be the same to him again.

"Dustfinger, I'm so glad you're alive, there were terrible rumors about your death going around. I had nearly lost all of my hope." Dustfinger wanted to explain, but she put her hand on his mouth. "First I will attend to you. Look at you, how long has it been since you last saw something to eat. You look like you were starving. Come we'll get that done and soon enough you'll be the old one again" She smiled at him and dragged him towards a tent.

Dustfinger didn't realize her unimportant babbling, while she treated his wounds. He looked at the mouth of which he had once thought that it was the most beautiful one in the world. Haha, a little voice in his head said, what did she say again? You'll be you old self soon enough. He would never ne his "old self" ever again. Deep deep in the back of his mind he knew that. Even though he kept telling himself over the next few days that it was all just a silly joke of Bastas'. That must have been it. He saw my longing and wanted to torture me by pretending to enjoy it.

Dustfinger told Roxanne everything and every detail about the last few weeks, except from one. The kiss. Dustfinger couldn't talk about it, would probably never be able to do so. But what did all the thinking bring him? Nothing . He had to live on, although he knew that from now on his life would feel more hollow and empty then it ever had done. But didn't people say, that time healed all wounds?

**Bastas POV:**

The Sky was turning into an ugly pink, which reminded Basta very much of one of these flowers the girls were so keen on, when he arrived at the small, grey castle the fire raisers lived in. Capricorn was very proud of taking it away from an old man and killing his whole family as a side effect. The "castle" was actually a very big old stone house, which was grey and had one not very high tower, but Capricorn liked exaggerating and showing-off.

The fly was resting on the wall now. Basta enjoyed the few seconds of silence without the enraging sound of the little animal before he smashed his bare fist into the wall. Waves of pain immediately shot through his hands, his headache was becoming worse, but his physical pain was nothing compared to his minds'. Basta had done something he would never have dreamed of in all his life. Not only had he kissed his worst enemy (and enjoyed it) but he had also lied to Capricorn. And if that hadn't already been enough he had also betrayed his comrades. Actually he didn't really care for them , because he had always seen them as rivals in fight of Capricorns favor, but the years he had spent sharing the same table with the others had welt them together. And for what? For sparing the life of a man he hated most of all in the world. If he had given the Mudfinger to Capricorn, killed him, or at least mentioned him then Capricorn would have been proud of him. But something insde Basta just would do that.

After Basta had arrived at the castle he had immediately looked for Capricorn, briefly reported that the Mudfinger hadn't been in the hut and stormed off to his room. His own room. Basta was really proud of the fact that he was one of the few men who didn't need to share a room with two or three others.

The problem was that he couldn't keep his mind of Dustfinger. He remembered his hands stroking his body, his face, those lips. That memory was too good. And he wanted more. The problem about memories was that they made hungry for more. Basta often lay awake till long past midnight and imagined what "more" exactly looked like.

**Back to Dustfinger…**

Dustfinger was ,thanks to Roxannes medical skills, back to his old self again. Well, at least his body was so that he would do a few gigs this week. The first one starting…now. Dustfinger had taken off his shirt so that it wouldn't set fire and looked down at his audience. He was standing at a small podium which the other gleemen had set up for him. He liked searching through the faces of the people looking what could be found in their eyes. Hope, maybe? The crowd was huge today, no wonder because the Prince and his men had made no secret out of the fact that everybody's favorite fire eater was back in town. The people looked up at him expecting nothing more and nothing less than the biggest show of their lives, and , by heaven, they should get it. Dustfinger felt, once again, how his body and mind became one with the flaming heat in his hands. He didn't need powder to make it burn. All he needed was already there, inside him. The crowd cheered and applauded as a huge fireball made its way into the sky. Directly outside of Dustfingers mouth. Gasps could be heard as the juggled with flares. He did that so fast that the flares seemed to become one large orange and yellow stream and Dustfinger finally felt completely home.

After the show hats were given to the audience, who weren't sparing with their money. Dustfinger felt proud that he had done something for his fellow gleemen. And for Roxanne, of course. He wanted to walk away as fast as possible because now that the show was over and the crowd dissolved Roxanne might be wanting to talk to him. He didn't know why he avoided her in such a cruel way. It wasn't like him. She had earned so much better than him. The Gleeman was still kept in his thoughts, when he suddenly felt himself dragged into a small alley.

It couldn't go on like this anymore, Basta felt like going mad. He had been absentmindedly doing his "work" for Capricorn, but the problem was with a certain red haired occupying his mind he couldn't concentrate on anything. Even if it was chasing men and dragging them to the castle. Capricorn was not amused about this and talked to Basta "very politely" asking whether he had forgotten how many advantages he had got in contrast to the other men and how fast that could change. Basta felt sick. And the solution came into his mind, when Cockerell talked about a very famous gleeman, who was said to be able to do anything with fire. Basta looked up from his dinner. "Are you going to watch him?" "Me and the ugly piece of crap-" (he pointed towards Flatnose) "over there." "Got a problem if I join you?" "Haha, the more we are the better, right Flatnose?" The man just went on stuffing himself with rotten looking potatoes. So on the next evening they started making their way towards the town of Ombra.

They arrived a little late and as soon as they had found the place where the show would start, Basta departed from the other two men and went directly into the large crowd trying to get a good look at the man standing on a little podium.

At first Dustfinger appeared to be a little unsure and let his look run through the crowd. Then he started his show. It was true what people said, he was the best fire gleeman in whole Ombra, maybe in the whole country. And the look on his face, this relaxed look, while he spit a great flame directly from his mouth into the sky. The crowd cheered and Dustfingers confidence seemed to grow with that. Now he was juggling with two, four, six, eight flares. Basta was so keen on seeing the mans' face again that he had completely forgotten how beautiful, yes there was no other word, he looked, especially when the fire played around him. He seemed like a small child, in his own world, completely absorbed by what he was doing. Unaware of his attractiveness.

After the show Dustfinger went down from the podium, thanked the audience and began to make his way through the crowd. Basta quickly made a decision. He was could make his way through the crowd much faster than Dustfinger. Not only was he smaller but also the people didn't recognize and stare at him. He made his way into one of the small alleys, hoping that Dustfinger would take this way.

There he came, quickly looking back to the place where crowd was now dissolving and heading towards him. When Dustfinger passed him, Basta grabbed him by his coat, dragged him into the alley and before the man knew what had happened to him he was pinned up against the wall and kissed hardly by Basta.

Dustfinger immediately recognized the smell. This smell of fresh washed clothes and peppermint, that was around Basta. Yes, he liked it actually. Basta was not only caressing his mouth, but also his neck. Dustfingers head was empty, all logic thoughts had been banned from it. He pulled his head to the side and a small moan escaped his lips. He had pressed his eyes together and all his senses concentrated on the feeling of Bastas hot lips against his neck.

The tender touch sent shivers all over his body. Every single hair on his arm stood stiff. Now there were his lips again, now stroking his ear, nibbling it and finally whispering something into it: "I missed you, Mudfinger."

His voice sounded raspy and low as if he had spared it for that particular moment. Dustfinger opened his eyes slowly. Was that a dream? Basta, here in Ombra? "I watched your little show, you know." ,the man went on, "It was rather entertaining."

"Why did you come back?" it was the first thing that went through Dustfingers head. Bastas sudden escape had been on his mid for so long. Basta, who had looked down on his feet, now decided to look into Dustfingers water blue eyes. His honest water blue eyes. "I…don't know. I ..sort of…didn't like the feeling of you…I don't know."

With that Basta turned around a defeated look in his eyes, but Dustfinger wouldn't let him flee this time. He grabbed Bastas arm and pulled the smaller man to his chest. Their faces were very close to each other now. Dustfinger sucked in Bastas breath for a moment then said:" Not so fast. You can't come walking by and kiss me whenever you like, but when I start talking about feelings you run away. Look, why don't we just…drink something together and sort of talk. "Basta looked at him, curiosity and mistrust in his eyes." Drink something? Talk?" "Look Basta if I need to be the first one of us to admit it, then so be it. I like you. There you have it. And I want to get to know you better. I think we can have a good relationship, if you'd like that, too. And for a start I'd like to go and drink something with you, like two very normal people. "

Basta grinned. "I think there are few things that could be called normal about our…relationship."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four: **

**AN: Sevlin: thanks ;) the real lemon scene will be in chapter 5, but there will be some minor stuff until that^^ I'll try to update during the week :D**

**Talking**

They turned to go into "The Gin Heaven", one of the many dives in Ombras worse quarters. The air was filled with the most disgusting smells you could imagine and there were creepy people lying against the walls of the houses, their eyes begging for relief from the endless pain, that was their life.

Dustfinger felt a sharp sting in his stomach. He wanted to help them. He would, if he weren't at the edge of extreme poverty himself. It wasn't hard to guess what Basta thought of them, though. One could see from the expression on his face and the looks he gave the poor creatures, that he didn't feel any comfortable. But this was the only place where the two of them could talk without being recognized by someone they knew.

Dustfinger chuckled at the disgusted look Basta gave their surroundings. "Don't you feel pity for them?" "Why would I? Most of them are here because of their own fault, if they're too lazy to work I can't help them." "What about those, who aren't responsible for their poverty? What about the children?" Basta grunted. Why did Dustfinger always have to be the hero? Saver of the innocence of the poor children. "Well, that's life, Mudfinger. It isn't always sunshine and happiness. It is hard work and those, who can't work don't earn living." "You know, I feel pity for you sometimes ,too, Basta. Maybe even more than for them. Your attitudes are rude, but I suppose they're just caused by a childhood, not poor with wealth, but with love." Sometimes the Mudfinger knew him better than he did himself. But for an answer he just shook his head looking into the other direction, a faint smirk on his face.

Finally they arrived at "The Gin Heaven". Dustfinger pulled the door open and the smell from outside mixed with the air from inside. The stink of sweat mixed with gin reached Dustfingers nose and he immediately hold his breath for a few seconds. Inside the dive one could hardly understand his own word, because it was loud, men were chanting, prattling and staring at the only woman in the room. A girl, maybe 15 years old. She seemed to be used to it and brought the men their alcohol. Basta pushed past him, grabbed his hand and pulled him to the only table available. Of course, it wasn't in the corner, where Dustfinger would have preferred to sit, but at least it was separated from the other tables because of a low stone wall, which parted the room in two.

They sat down, the slim waitress came and they ordered two beer. The girl seemed surprised, maybe beer wasn't the sort of alcohol, which she was used to. When she was gone Basta looked around. "I just hope, there is no one here I know."

Dustfinger began to feel a little uncomfortable, not only due to their surrounding, but also because of Bastas presence. He felt his eyes on him all the time, but pretended to not notice. He was nervous. Now they were here. Now they could talk? About what? Their relationship? Hah, you couldn't call our engagement a proper relationship. But he would love to know what it was like waking up next to Basta, the look of his dark brown hair, a bit messy maybe, but soft. What might it look like when he wakes up, Dustfinger wondered.

"…right?"

"Huh, what?" Dustfingers mind had been occupied with thoughts about Basta, he hadn't noticed that the man had been talking to him. He looked at Basta, blushed and looked at the dirty table. Basta, in contrast to what Dustfinger was used to, wasn't the slightest bit angry. He just kept staring at the red haired man. Then he began to speak.

"I asked whether we wanted to start talking aout us now, I mean that's what we came here for, right?" Dustfinger chuckled. Typically for Basta. He didn't beat around the bush, he just started talking right away. He wasn't so low to make a little bit of small talk with Dustfinger just to ease the mood, not like Roxanne, who was annoyingly often avoiding to talk about problems. So to start the conversation Dustfinger asked the first question that came into his head, when looking at Basta.

"Why did you do it?" "What?", Basta looked puzzled. "This" said Dustfinger pointing at one of his scars. Basta understood immediately. It was like a huge cloud had arisen on his face. His eyes were dark and there was something in them, which Dustfinger couldn't see properly, because Basta lowered his gaze. Was it…regret? Never, this was still Basta after all. Never in control of himself, never regretting anything.

"I think anything I could say now would sound very wrong to you." Basta began "I mean, I was drunk and I was totally out of control, I know that is no excuse, but see, I never felt this way before. I first felt it, when I saw you for the second time. You and all of your other Gleeman friends. You were joking around and laughing. And I suddenly felt the urge to be part of it. To be able to laugh, too. This was the first time in my life I wanted to be someone else. And then I saw you with the woman, Rosalind, …" "-Roxanne." "Oh, yeah, Roxanne, of course. I thought I was in love with her. You see, every time I saw you two together there was this feeling in my stomach and it made me so angry. So angry, believe me I have never felt like that before. One night I just got drunk and then it happened…" First Basta was speaking really fast, but at the end he slowed down a bit, his was gowing quieter and thinner with every word and Dustfinger knew it was Bastas way to say "Sorry".

He didn't expect any more of him, but if Basta weren't Basta Dustfinger would have broken his nose by now. He wasn't as hot tempered as Basta, but the scars were something which reminded him of the most horrible nights of all in his life.

"I want you to know that-" "It's fine" Dustfinger said fast. He knew from the look in Bastas eyes, that he was sorr. He didn't need the words. And as far as they could go in their surrounding, Basta took Dustfingers hand under the table and squeezed it.

A shock went through Dustfingers body, where Bastas finger touched his. Had he ever felt that with Roxanne. Yes, at the beginning, but with the years the feeling began to lessen and Dustfinger didn't shiver at her touch anymore. Not like now. There was goose flesh all over his arm and he could feel the little hairs stand stiff, when Bastas hand slowly wandered from his hand to his arm and stroked it. "Dustfinger looked at his arm, then back to Basta. He lend over "You know we shouldn't be doing this in here." He said with a quick look around.

Nobody had seen it. Pheeew. "Why that?" Basta murmured. "It makes it even more exciting." He hadn't stopped stroking Dustfingers arm. He didn't want Basta to let go off it either, but if someone saw them…the aftermath would be extreme. Dungeon, no water, no bread. Then the pillory. Maybe Roxanne would come watching him. Maybe the Prince even. He could hear the sound of the people, yelling at him, torturing him. And Basta. For being together. For not being man and woman. For being…hmm there wasn't really a word for it.

"What are we?" Dustfinger asked all of a sudden. Basta looked at him as if he had asked him to throw his knife away. "Eeerm..we are..humans?" "So much I realized." Dustfinger said ironically. "I mean, we, two mean having a sort of .."he lowered his voice"…relationship. What is that called?" Basta shook his head, chuckling. "What kind of question is that? As long as we're fine with it, it shouldn't matter what it's called, right?" "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Suddenly Basta pulled his hand back abruptly. "I thought I had just seen someone, but he's out of the door now, anyway." Dustfinger felt the fear arise in him. Hot and ugly.

Basta had to grin at the fearful expression the Mudfinger made. He looked to the door twice and began turning around every two seconds looking whether someone was staring at them. "Come on, don't be so paranoid. Even if someone saw and recognized us, how would they know about us?" Dustfinger eased a bit. Basta made everything so simple for him. The fear lessened but was still there. Basta chuckled once more, a sound, which Dustfinger liked very much, due to its rarity. Basta didn't chuckle or laugh very often, but therefore it was even more precious.

They shared a deep look, but were interrupted by the girl, who finally brought their beers. Dustfinger nodded at her, but Basta didn't give her one single look. His eyes were still on Dustfinger, who went a bit nervous under Bastas intense, dark eyed gaze.

Maybe alcohol could change something about this. Dustfinger thankfully grabbed the beer glass and drank in thirsty, big gulps. It tasted awful, but what did he expect from a place like this? He felt his body heaten up. The usual effect of alcohol. He drank once more. Basta on the other hand hadn't touched his glass. He then drank one little gulp, grimaced and put the glass down again.

Next he looked up from the table, straight into Dustfingers eyes. Dustfinger couldn't help but stare back into these dark eyes, which mirrored exactly how much their owner had been through.

"Dustfinger, I want you to be honest with me", he began. No problem for me, the gleeman thought. "What about the woman, Ro…eeeerm…. Roxas?" Dustfinger grinned. "Roxanne", he said, smiling. "Yeah, right, Roxanne…how could I forget? " "What about her?" "How is your current…(Basta tensed at the word) relationship with you?"

Oh, that was, what it was all about. Dustfinger began to understand. Basta wanted to know whether Dustfinger was still as madly in love with her as he had used to be. Or pretended to have been.

"Urm…she is fine." He said lamely. What did Basta want to hear? That Dustfinger hadn't looked her in the eyes properly since their kiss? Well that was true and Basta wanted the truth from him.

Dustfinger sighed. "I don't know where to begin. Roxannes and my relationship hasn't been what it used to be for years. I mean, you were just one additional factor, that brought me from trying to avoid her presence as often as possible to not talking to her at all and I can't look her in the eyes either." Basta grinned content with what he heard. Him destroying Dustfinger and that womans relationship? Fine. Dustfinger looked at the table and went on."It would have been over sooner or later anyway. She often tries to talk to me, but I always walk away and stop dealing with the problem. I seriously don't know what to do about her. She keeps following me and I don't want to hurt but, but I have to, because I know who I've decided for. She shouldn't know the truth and I don't want to involve another woman. I honestly don't know what to do." Dustfinger sighed put his arms on the table and rested his head on them.

Basta liked the idea of Dustfinger and the Roxanne woman being apart. But he didn't want Dustfinger to be sad because of her. How typical of him to have a feeling of guilt because of her. "Why don't you just tell her that you don't love her anymore?" Dustfinger shook his head. "It might be the easiest way, but you haven't spent nearly all of your life with her. We were friends since childhood and she was my first love…" .He blushed.

"Do you still care about her?" Basta felt a sharp sting in his stomach. Just like the feeling when he saw them together for the first time (but not so strong). Then he had thought he had been jealous of Dustfinger, now he noticed that it had just been the other way around.

"I don't know…I don't think so. Not in the way that you mean." In a way that appeared very childish to Basta, he felt somewhat relieved and happy about this. He couldn't stop the flamboyant voice in his head shouting "He doesn't like her in that way…lalala he doesn't like her…."

Suddenly Dustfinger looked up from the table. "I've got a brilliant idea! There is something I have to show you." It was amazing how suddenly Dustfingers mood could switch from sad to hyper. He was like a child on its birthday waiting for the presents. "What do you think? Isn't that idea great?" he cocked his head to the side and looked Basta straight in the eyes.

This better be not some dirty trick, the man thought before saying. "How about if you tell me first, where we are going to go?" "Oh, but it's a secret place. I promise, you'll like it. It should be about midday now and it's very nice, especially at this time of the day." Basta thought for a moment. "Flatnose and Cockerell might be wondering where I am. Anyway, let the silly people go back to the castle on their own. I am all yours, all day" There was the brilliant smile again, which Dustfinger liked so much.

"Allright, we will pay and then you will come with me." He was full of anticipation and very excited about showing Basta the place, of which he believed he was the only human who knew it. The fairies had shown it to him and since then it had always been a place all for himself. Where he could go when the world seemed to turn against him. And now he was ready to share it with someone else. Someone precious.

** A place for you and me**

"Dustfinger, slow down!" Bastas voice got a slightly annoyed touch, when he stumbled trough the wood behind Dustfinger. The fire raiser was fast and could easily wriggle himself through the branches, but no one could reach up to the level of Dustfingers elegance.

He could hear Basta curse behind him and fighting the undergrowth. "How long is it until that magical place?" the man complained. Dustfinger smiled. Like a little child, so easily annoyed. "Not long." "You keep tellin me that 'till hours!" Basta was exaggerating of course. They had been going about 1 hour at highest.

Dustfinger wondered what the place would look like, he hadn't been there for a while. If Basta would like it there? Damn, Dustfinger you sound like a silly old donkey! Pull yourself together! Ah, there it was. The old big oak which led to the grot. Fortunately the weather was sunny that day and fortunately it was not past midday, when Dustfinger finally pulled the last leaves back and turned around to Basta, who was still fighting the wood.

"Ah, take that you stupid tree trunk!" Basta finished off another branch and finally stumbled aside the chuckling Gleeman. He looked exhausted and ridiculous, leafs sticking out of his hair, his former white shirt, dirty and one little scratch across his face. "This isn't funny." He said with a look at Dustfinger, who had to laugh even harder.

"Seriously, we should do this more often." He laughed, leaning forward and picking a leaf out of Bastas hair, who put on a face. "Where is this magical place, then?" he grunted. "It's right here all you have to do is close your eyes." Dustfinger said looking at the other man a mischievous grin on his face. Basta gave him a death glare, but closed his eyes. Dustfinger went behind him. "No cheating." Basta grunted for an answer. Then he put his hands on Bastas slender shoulders and led him towards a group of trees.

Dustfinger could smell the smeel of Bastas hair. There had not been many people whose smell he found so attractive. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he pushed a few leafs aside and whispered into Bastas ear: " Open you eyes."

Basta felt Dustfingers mouth right next to his right ear. His voice was soft and he could feel their bodies pressing together for a second, which made his mind go blank immediately. Shivers were running down his back, it felt so well. "Open your eyes", and Basta did so. He would have done anything for that voice.

The place was not as beautiful as Basta had imagined it. There were no silly butterflies in the air. The sun was hidden by a cloud right now, so the water was kind of gloomy instead of sparkling and there were none of these flowers in which women showed an abnormally interest. But there was a waterfall, a very small one, and a little lake. The lake was the extremely fascinating thing about the small glade. It was shining in such a deep blue, that Basta wondered whether it might be bewitched by some fairies.

Dustfinger caught Bastas look at the water and said fast:" The water is fine, you could even go swimming in there. But isn't this place beautiful?" Basta was about to answer that he had seen far more beautiful places in this wood, but just then the sun came out from behind a cloud and dived the place into thousands of colors. The green suddenly seemed more green, the lake, which had been nice before, was now the most beautiful shape of blue that Basta had ever seen and the waterfall began to sparkle.

Basta began to understand, why Dustfinger liked this place so much. He smiled at him and Dustfinger smiled back. When Basta was finished admiring the landscape, Dustfinger said:" There is also a little grot behind that waterfall." Basta was excited. A grot? He had never been in a grot. "Have you been there?" Dustfinger smiled memorizing: "At least 50 times, but if we want to go there we'll get wet." "Wet? Because of the waterfall? Sounds like fun to me." Basta said, pulling off his jacket and shoes.

Dustfinger looked at Basta. The white shirt was a bit too big for him and it perfectly accented his slim figure. Not too slim for Dustfinger. Basta caught his look, grinned and walked towards him.

He took Dustfingers hand and pulled him towards the lake. "If the water is fine for swimming then you should test it first." He said and pushing the unsuspecting Dustfinger into the water. There was a great splash and a lot of bubbles around Dustfinger, tickling in his ears and hair. Then he came up again looking at Basta in a disgruntled way. Basta just laughed at him, but stopped doing so, when Dustfinger quickly swam to the bank and pulled Basta in, too.

The men played in the water, childish, laughing, having fun and forgetting for a brief moment who they were and that they weren't supposed to do this.

After a while Basta pointed at the waterfall. "Shall we..?" Dustfinger nodded. His shoulder long, red hair dripped and all he had put off his gleeman's jacket either. Basta found it looked very attractive especially when his shirt was soaked and was tighter to his skin. Basta admired Dustfingers muscles for a few seconds, then he turned his attention towards the waterfall.

The sound of the water was so loud that the two men couldn't understand each others words when they swam nearer. Basta decided to dive under it, so he wouldn't be hit by the water. Although the waterfall was only about 6 meters high the force with which the water fell down made it feel like stone hitting bare skin.

Finally they were inside the grot, behind the waterfall. It was dark, but not too dark and Basta heard Dustfinger crawling into the grot, spitting water and coughing. Then the gleemans' face was right in front of his. "Now you know one of the most beautiful places in this country." Dustfinger lent forward and whispered into Bastas ear. Basta felt the cheek of the other man next to his. Man, he had to forbid Dustfinger doing this to him. It made him feel weird, sort of relaxed and just…fine.

Basta was sitting with his back at the wall of the grot. He felt the hard stone floor under him and little stone pricking into his hands. But he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Dustfinger was over him and this time it wasn't heated. It wasn't desperate. It was sensual and passionate when they kissed. Bastas whole body froze when Dustfinger slowly pressed his warms lips on his.

His hair dripped on Bastas shirt, they were both still awfully wet, but it didn't matter to him.

Basta slowly moved his hands up to Dustfingers face, their lips still melted, and touched it everywhere he could. Then he moved his mouth away from the other mans' lips and began kissing down his neck, slowly, he nibbled on his ear and Dustfinger escaped a small moan. He could smell all of Basta now, put his nose into his hair and just drown in the smell. Next Dustfinger slowly pulled Basta away from him, who had been kissing the small space between his ear and his head and looked at him.

Basta stared back at Dustfinger, who had pulled him away carefully and was now…unbuttoning his shirt. Basta gasped. This was the most arousing thing he had ever done in his life and now Dustfinger was undressing. The gleeman just laughed at Bastas deranged expression, then put off his shirt and crawled over the other man.

For a second Basta was had kind of a nice shock when Dustfinger lent over him and kissed him. His shirt made contact with the bare skin and he was suddenly very sad, that it wasn't brighter in the grot. But he soon had enough of being passive and being kissed by Dustfinger. He let his hands wonder down Dustfingers shoulders and could feel the man shiver under his touch. He traveled down lower touched Dustfingers hard nipples, lent forward and licked them and all the time he looked Dustfinger, who suddenly let out a moan and closed his eyes, straight in the eye. "Bahh-staah. Huuh."

Driven by so much acceptance of his actions Basta was getting more and more courageous stroked Dustfingers back with his hands and made little circles on it. Dustfinger on the other hand now began to undress Basta. He opened up his shirt and revealed Bastas slim and scrawny chest. Just like he had imagined it to look like. Basta blushed a bit, maybe he was precarious about his looks in front of the muscular and well-trained Dustfinger. But the gleeman did not only accept, but also like what he saw. Very much. He also ran his tongue down Bastas chest began to stroke him carefully. Basta stopped making circles and his whole body tensed under Dustfingers touch. He put his chin on the other mans' shoulder and moaned in his ear.

As Dustfinger went on with caressing Basta, the man suddenly felt something in his pants harden. And Dustfinger felt it, too. He smiled knowing that he was the one who had caused this and taking it as a compliment. He tried to pull the shirt over Bastas arms, but the man resisted and sat up. Dustfinger lent forward and tried to see Bastas expression in the half-light, but the man looked down. "Please don't." "Don't what?", "I can't put off my shirt I'm just not ready for it yet." What had he just said? Not ready for it yet? Basta, you sound like an old … , come on tell him why you can't pull off your shirt. He's Dustfinger after all, he will understand it. "I…", he could say it. He could tell him what was wrong with him. "I…believe me Dustfinger I enjoyed it like I never enjoyed anything, but I just can't." He shook his head and looked away.

Dustfinger thought for a moment, then he put a hand under Bastas chin, and pulled his head softly into his direction. "I want you to know that I understand you, Basta. It has been the same after my scars." Basta immediately put Dustfingers hand away lent forward and kissed every single one of Dustfingers scars.

Dustfinger lay on his back, pulling Basta with his, whose lips were still on his face. Then they shared a long kiss and Basta leaned against Dustfinger, who put an arm around him. Basta had never felt safer and happier. Dustfinger had never felt more accepted and free.


End file.
